


A lost Archangel

by DestielSabriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, Finding Love, Hiding, M/M, lonely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:32:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14108457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielSabriel/pseuds/DestielSabriel
Summary: The story of how an archangel loses his self worth and hides, only to be found twice by the one person who can truly save him.





	A lost Archangel

**Author's Note:**

> I think I’m falling in love with Gabriel!

A lost Archangel 

Look closely and you’ll see a little fledgling playing with his brother. He’s got blond hair, golden wings and is giggling profusely as his brother swings him round and round. 

If you listen hard enough you can hear his infectious giggle as he screams “faster! Spin faster Luci, faster!” 

Now see a teenage angel who trails after the same brother learning pranks. Pushing himself to do more and more pranks in an effort to impress his big brother. Notice how his brother doesn’t notice him as much. The brother he idiolises, and has always thought the world of, is slowly becoming more consumed by an ongoing argument he has with another brother, Michael, about humanity. 

Gabriel doesn’t know much about humanity, yet. In an effort to understand why Luci is now so fixated on the race he goes to Earth to learn about them. He visits several different cultures, explores their views and finds them to be generally uneducated and prone to violence but he sees an inner goodness, loving families and brothers playing the same way he used to with Luci. He finds he likes them. Especially when he discovers the invention of sugar. 

He runs back to Luci to tell him his thoughts but is cut off by Michael and doesn’t ever get a chance to talk to either of them so he gives up. 

Picture a grown up Gabriel so fed up of the constant arguing that he packs up and leaves heaven. He hides amongst the pagans. He doesn’t even need to persuade Odin to take him in, the all father relates to his story and offers to make him a vessel that will not be drained by his grace and will not age. Odin has a feeling that Gabriel, or Loki as he now goes by, will prove a good distraction for Thor and will help him grow as a god. 

Loki uses his knowledge of pranks to keep the Gods entertained, he especially likes pissing off Thor (he reminds him of Michael). The pagans make a good hiding place, the other angels would never think that Gabriel, an archangel, would demean himself enough to hide amongst false Gods. He finds he likes the depravity and mead. An objective observer might say this was his rebellious phrase, an emphatic observer would notice that Gabriel is lost and is hiding his emotions not just his physical self. He misses home, he misses his brothers, so he throws himself into becoming Loki. The eminent trickster, who doesn’t care what others think. 

Fast forward several hundred years. Gabriel has kept himself hidden, even when the pagans died out. He didn’t return to heaven, even when he heard Luci fell. He considered falling himself but his love of humanity kept him from making that leap. 

Watch at Gabriel sees a tall, kind hunter smile at him, a genuine smile. The first genuine smile he’s had since he was a fledgling. He knows the giant moose of a man is a hunter but his soul, whilst brattered and bruised, shines so brightly. It almost makes him squint, and Gabriel privately thinks that the soul shines more brightly because of the trauma he has endured. This soul has suffered. Gabriel can relate. He wants to protect this soul, but he knows he can’t. Gabriel jokes and pranks the hunter to hide his loneliness, to hide his attraction, to hide his deep seated feeling that he is not good enough. 

He tries to teach the hunter, gives hints about what is to come, to give him the tools the service. He even gives up his identify, and ultimately his life in his willingness to protect this soul. His biggest sacrifice though, not his own life but giving the hunters the instructions that will allow them to lock away his big brothers. He knows Luci and Michael are wrong, but he can’t help feel a deep regret at being the cause of them being locked in a cage for eternity. He feels a guilt so profound in what he knows he has to do that he does fight Luci as he should, knowing it would lead to his death. 

Squint through the dark, focus your eyes on the shrivelled figure in the corner of the room. See the ropes binding him to the chair, scream silently at the stitches which force his mouth to stay closed. Rage against the fact that this archangel feels that this is what he deserves. He has never been good enough, not for his brothers to notice him, not for the humans to really see him, not for his father to look for him. He feels that it is best he is hidden in a dark room, he’s been hiding for most of his existence so how is this any different. He deserves this pen and for simply not being good enough. 

Now view that same hunter from before rescues him and slowly persuaded him that he is good enough, worthy of love and friendship. 

For the first time Gabriel feels seen, noticed, and yes he still plays pranks and smirks and jokes as that is a core part of his personality, but he slowly starts to smile more freely. Be more honest. Love more fully. Trust absolutely. Slowly but surely he starts to feel valued and loved in a way he never was by his family. For the first time he feels like someone truly knows him and values him. For the first time he no longer feels lost.


End file.
